I want a picture!”
“I know,” I said. “You’re beautiful.”
She laughed.
“That’s what the other girls are getting at,” she said. “They’re getting all the credit. You do something really sexy and everyone comes up and puts their hands on you and they love it.”
I looked at her and smiled. I don’t think I was ready to explain it.
I’m an idiot.
I guess everyone is to blame for something in my life. The whole thing seems, to me, like I was taught as a kid that “it’s hard to look bad when you’re hot and people love you!”
But I guess I didn’t realize how dumb I was being about this.
But that’s the thing. If I had thought that and said, “This guy just has a girlfriend.” It would have been one thing. Maybe I’d have had the guy try to explain to me that it was just that he had some crazy relationship with my mom and didn’t mean to hurt her. Or maybe maybe if I just hadn’t told anyone, it wouldn’t have happened at all.
It’s like, what if we both just really hate each other and it turns out to be a really, really good thing? It’ll probably happen.
I feel like I’m supposed to be the good guy and the guy has been like a dad to me. We have this weird stuff going on. You never know whether it’s something bad or good, but it’s the sort of thing that’s hard to explain.
In general, I think that women are smarter. They’re more confident. They’re more aware and, more importantly, they’re more assertive and aggressive towards men. At the same time, they still have a little bit of this guy thing where when they’re with a guy they get attracted to him more, when they’re with a girl they get the same amount of attraction.
I think, on the whole, women are more attracted to men and men are more attracted to women. This is just weird that women are both attracted to a woman and more attracted to a man.
But when a guy acts like that, I try not to get so caught up in it. I try not to talk about it on any level that I wouldn’t just use one of those stupid excuses about, “It’s not really a big deal, it’s just some silly stuff.” I
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